Proud America Microwave Buttered Popcorn
No shit.
Claims to support the Boy Scouts of America.
Honest to Xenu, the box art on it looks like the intro to the Colbert Report.
If you want to do popcorn, as a "proud American" I would think you would pull out the pot, throw a bit of oil in it, and shake that mother over the stove. Make a family, social thing out of it. Like the Natives did with the Pilgrims....if you like to think of it that way.
But, as a real American, you would pull out a prepackaged paper bag, toss it in the magic popcorn machine, and rip it open when it has no more things popping in it... then shove the contents down your throat as fast as you can to try to fill the hole that you feel from being a true American consumer, and supporting the closest thing we have to the Hitler Youth. Or whatever other hole you have in your heart.
I'm doing mine while polishing off a bottle of Spanish Tempranillo...
Even as microwave crap, it's pretty bad...But free food is still pretty good, and it was a gift...
Or maybe I'm just in a mood after hearing Jim DeMint hawk his book on Jon Stewart last night, and seeing Jon pass on some glaring softballs that he should have shot out of the park. (Spoiler alert. I'm working on a post on that. As per the rules of this blog, I make no promises.)
Right in time while we are watching the rebirth of the Cold War and there are so many people on the right that are thrilled at the prospect. Both in Putin's inner circle, and among the modern McCarthyites here at home.
We're going to be falling for more and more false jingoism and patriotism as we watch our country continue to be embarrassed by yahoos wrapped in the flag and Jesus. What better symbol than a corny bag of popcorn named "Proud America" that funds a homophobic, wanna-be para-military all-American hate group.
So, anyway, we've been down this road before, and we're likely heading there again. Wave that flag. Wave it high and proud. Just don't do it in foreign languages that may scare and confuse our xenophobic masses.
(It's a big damned box with a lot of bags in it. Suziema, don't you dare throw it out because of this post. I'll eat it...Why not?)
We're very screwed.
(I'm not too proud of this meandering post. I hope my readers get the idea behind it. "Write drunk. Edit sober-Hemingway. But I'm likely to not edit this much.) Just another drunken missive from the front lines of the culture war...Trenches of Ohio, 1:10 AM, 3/6/2014.
Claims to support the Boy Scouts of America.
Honest to Xenu, the box art on it looks like the intro to the Colbert Report.
If you want to do popcorn, as a "proud American" I would think you would pull out the pot, throw a bit of oil in it, and shake that mother over the stove. Make a family, social thing out of it. Like the Natives did with the Pilgrims....if you like to think of it that way.
But, as a real American, you would pull out a prepackaged paper bag, toss it in the magic popcorn machine, and rip it open when it has no more things popping in it... then shove the contents down your throat as fast as you can to try to fill the hole that you feel from being a true American consumer, and supporting the closest thing we have to the Hitler Youth. Or whatever other hole you have in your heart.
I'm doing mine while polishing off a bottle of Spanish Tempranillo...
Even as microwave crap, it's pretty bad...But free food is still pretty good, and it was a gift...
Or maybe I'm just in a mood after hearing Jim DeMint hawk his book on Jon Stewart last night, and seeing Jon pass on some glaring softballs that he should have shot out of the park. (Spoiler alert. I'm working on a post on that. As per the rules of this blog, I make no promises.)
Right in time while we are watching the rebirth of the Cold War and there are so many people on the right that are thrilled at the prospect. Both in Putin's inner circle, and among the modern McCarthyites here at home.
We're going to be falling for more and more false jingoism and patriotism as we watch our country continue to be embarrassed by yahoos wrapped in the flag and Jesus. What better symbol than a corny bag of popcorn named "Proud America" that funds a homophobic, wanna-be para-military all-American hate group.
So, anyway, we've been down this road before, and we're likely heading there again. Wave that flag. Wave it high and proud. Just don't do it in foreign languages that may scare and confuse our xenophobic masses.
(It's a big damned box with a lot of bags in it. Suziema, don't you dare throw it out because of this post. I'll eat it...Why not?)
We're very screwed.
(I'm not too proud of this meandering post. I hope my readers get the idea behind it. "Write drunk. Edit sober-Hemingway. But I'm likely to not edit this much.) Just another drunken missive from the front lines of the culture war...Trenches of Ohio, 1:10 AM, 3/6/2014.
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